And I said there were a couple of reasons this may have happened and I went outside and prayed. He is not a Christian, but I claimed the promises Jesus gave us that if we ask something in His name, it would be answered.
"And whatsoever ye shall ask in my name, that will I do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son." -John 14:13
As
I continued to read, I came across the man in the iron cage bound up in
his own guilt, sin and having a hardened heart against God. I was a bit
perplexed that a man thought he was unworthy of being saved since he
had known of God once before, His promise and the ultimate sacrifice.
Perhaps it was because he appeared to be a man of the proverbial cloth. I
was always led to believe that where there is life, there is still
hope.
Man. "I have crucified Him to myself afresh.
I have despised His person. I have despised His
holiness; I have counted His blood an unholy
thing; I have shown contempt to the Spirit of
mercy. Therefore I have shut myself out of all
the promises of God, and there now remains to me
nothing but threatenings, dreadful threatenings,
fearful threatenings of certain judgment and fiery
anger, which shall devour me as an enemy." - Pilgrim's Progress.
With aid of my earthly mentor, I have learned that there is one sin that is unforgivable. It is the blasphemy of the Holy Spirit. To illustrate, please see these verses:
Mat 12:31 Wherefore I say unto you, All manner of sin and blasphemy shall be forgiven unto men: but the blasphemy against the Holy Ghost shall not be forgiven unto men.
Mat 12:32 And whosoever speaketh a word against the Son of man, it shall be forgiven him: but whosoever speaketh against the Holy Ghost, it shall not be forgiven him, neither in this world, neither in the world to come.
While I thought (wrongly) that one could be forgiven anything right up until death, apparently there is one sin, above all others that is unforgivable. Jesus' words in the scripture are very specific on this matter. Earlier in Matthew, there is an example given, about the Pharisees attributing Jesus' healing to that done with the help of the devil.
Take Heed.
Heavenly Father, I thank you and praise you. Glory Be to God!
In Jesus' name, I put on the whole Armour of God, that I may be able to stand against evil.
I put on the belt of truth and the breastplate of righteousness. My feet are shod with the preparation of the Gospel of Peace.
I take up the shield of faith, to guard against the fiery darts of the enemy.
I take up the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.
And I take up the courage that is given to me to speak boldly, to make known the Gospel. In Jesus' name, Amen.
I started reading Pilgrim's Progress, by John Bunyan. If you are interested in a free reading copy, there is a free PDF: https://www.gutenberg.org/files/39452/39452-h/39452-h.htm There are also many versions of it in physical format.
In my first sitting with this book, I took particular notice of the children named, Passion and Patience. The children were to each get an inheritance, but Passion wanted theirs immediately so they could enjoy it now. Patience wanted to wait. So Passion received their inheritance and it was gone pretty quick. Patience waited patiently and knowing their inheritance was still available. While this is grossly (and I mean grossly) paraphrased, I was reminded of the scripture, which yes, I had to look up to find out which book it came from,
What does it profit a man to gain the whole world, only to lose his soul? - Mark 8:36
It's been suggested I read Pilgrim's Progress, by Bunyan. I get the gist that story, written in poem form is about someone moving from the land of destruction (Earth and our present life) toward Eternity and essentially our quest to go home. Without having read it, here's my take on what I've heard about it.
None of us truly belong here. This is not the final destination. This life, is merely a road we are on. Our body is the vehicle. But who is driving it? We are inundated with advertising, social media, television, movies, video games, text messages, direct mailings. We are completely inundated with distraction and coercion. Buy that, do this, eat that, wear this, succeed in that, vote for them, hate the other crowd.
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I've heard about people who have had things happen to them spiritually, that is seemingly instantaneous. But for me, I don't think this was it. Taking a step out, even in desperation is a step nonetheless.
It's hard to explain exactly how to start this, except to say that I'm in the throws of a spiritual awakening. My mother says that I've had one, but I say, no, I'm still waking.
Three and a half years ago I attempted suicide. Twice. Ever since, it has been a struggle to motivate myself not to complete the task. Once you complete steps to cross that threshold, it's easier to want to do it again. With the epidemic becoming pandemic, my 8-years-in-the-planning trip overseas being canceled, it was hard to contain the rage growing inside me. A simple request by public health experts around the world was: stay put. If we all do it, we'll burn this thing out and life goes back to normal. A bare blip on the radar in the annals of history. But no, we couldn't be told what to do because everyone complained, "I've got rights!"
I became angry. Short-fused, less patient. I'm normally a pretty patient person. And then one day while working, I said to God, "your shoulders are bigger than mine. I can't handle this anymore".
